st_oriedqueen: (wistful)
[personal profile] st_oriedqueen
Although she'd used magic openly to protect Snow, Regina glanced over her shoulder several times to be sure no one would be entering the vending area behind her. She didn't have appropriate coins, didn't want to go to get them, didn't want to go down to the bar or call someone to come up, but she did want to get her daughter a root beer, and she'd prefer not to begin her stay at the Inn with security rousting her for stealing a couple of cans of soda.

Really, she did want to get the root beer. Taking care of Snow in the small ways she'd let her was something Regina had missed, dearly, when Snow disappeared from Gotham. But she'd also hit the wall where the weight of what she'd lost pressed in on her. Rather than have Snow feel she wasn't enough for Regina, Regina took herself and her grief over Roland and Robin (and Rebekah and Atticus and little Rowan and Endor and Enchanted Shores and the Co-op and and and) for a walk from Room 195 (she refused to call it the Tack Room) to the soda and ice machines at the other end of the hall.

So maybe it was the few tears she'd allowed to escape that she didn't want security to see as much as the magic. No one else needed to know that. A Queen doesn't let her people see her cry, Regina, her mother's voice scolded from the distance of more than fifty years and at least three worlds. And much as she wanted to tell that voice off -- again -- Regina absolutely did force herself to stem the flow of grief after she "summoned" four cans of root beer from the machine (now that she could envision where they were, she wouldn't have to leave the room to do it). And when she left the vending area, she looked every ounce a Queen, only very slightly tearstained, and focused intently on the project of repressing her emotions on her walk back to her room.
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Regina Mills

December 2018

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